Sunday, March 11, 2012

Time to go...

Structure mounted, secured and embedded, weight pushed into the ground, been there for years, but that doesn't matter, it’s time to go…

What’s been there so long that it seems like it has a right to be there, like it’s just a part of the landscape of our lives? When in reality its presence has worn out, its purpose has been served and it’s time to be taken down, down and out.

I was watching my husband dismantle this shed he made years ago that stands in our yard. Its structure was giving way and the space it enclosed was no longer needed. I sat on the lawn with my son watching him address this vessel contemplating each step carefully and I felt like the Lord was using it to illustrate something to me.

The first step was to empty its contents, piece by piece. Can’t we relate? What in our lives has stood, made its presence known, been there for years and the Lord says “this has to go, piece by piece and bit by bit”.

I remember one example distinctly; and now that this is at the forefront of my attention I am wondering what the Lord is saying to me in the here and now and so I will ask but here state my past experience. When I was in my early 20s (now in EARLY, very EARLY 30s : )  ) The Lord did a dismantling in my life. I don’t know where I picked up the wrong thinking that I had adopted but there it was. I had believed that in order to be a good and righteous Christian, my life had to be in perfect order. It had to look pretty on the outside and I had to have it all together, nothing hanging out in the back if you know what I mean. Well God came and sandblasted the whole thing and turned my life upside down. “Piece by piece” he took what I was holding on to, what I was leaning on, what I believed to be firm foundations and things that I thought if I lost so would I be; identity, money, status all gone, items I “earned” and had to let go, reputation grasped and then surrendered. It was all so painful, all so futile, meaningless structures coming down.

The things the Lord started to take out piece by piece were not in themselves bad things but I had found my identity in them, I had leaned too hard on them, I gave them value apart from God and they were not producing life for me. One by one he enabled me to let go and then after the letting go came the dismantling of the actual structures.

Money, status, reputation, education, car, condo; the pieces and then the structure; pride, wrong priorities, lies, self ambition, wrong thinking; wasted space, demolition unleashed and set upon the burn pile.

In all the pain of the tearing down, wide open spaces started to emerge from the rubble of my life. Priorities changed, what I valued was different, leaning on the eternal instead of the mortal, craving and having an appetite for what never wastes away and wanting to invest outside of momentary indulgences. My life was becoming new. Wide, open, breathable spaces were making themselves known upon the constricting, restricting, confining presence of that which I thought brought joy, happiness and security.

I remember Lord what you did for me, you set me free and continue to even beyond my initial surrender to You. Unraveling this tightly wound girl so she would be able to stretch and stride in the wide open spaces that you so benevolently provide. I love you. Show me what needs to come down, down and out preparing room for You, all that is You!

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